It seems that some companies actually intend to do this, either that or there are advertising companies which are frankly just taking the piss. What this and the expected consecutive pages aim to do it to name and shame those adverts which irritate, annoy and/or make you want to remove your face using a combination of sandpaper and an electric fan.

Oh, old el paso, what were you thinking?

Me and a few of my mates now know this ad as the conrad gates ad, as the male actor in it later went on to be conrad gates in footballers wives. In this ad he unwittingly invented a facial gesture which I now find commonplace in my shameful little life.

In the ad Conrad (as he shall be reffered to from now on) is chivalritically (is that a word?) preparing a meal for his girlfriend, using old el pasos rather expensive products. SHE (as she will be reffered to from now on, cos she smells, so there)is nattering away on the phone to her mate about the fact that Conrad is cooking

SHE is not so happy. SHE seems to be under the impression that poor old Conrad is trying to poison her, and if he was I wouldnt blame him. The advert is tolerable, depsite SHE's droning nasal excuse for a voice, until she has her 'big line'.

The camera zooms in and has a close up of her face, her wide grinning, smackable face. She delivers the line 'Yeah, Ill call you back, (and this is the bit which makes me cringe) if I survive.'

She then eats it. likes it and gets poor suffering Conrad to make her another one. Which to be perfectly honest I would have rammed down her throat using some kind of pneumatic drill, whilst screaming 'muahahahha'.

So you might not remember it. If you do, you share my pain, and I can only apologise on behalf of the people who had anything to do with it.

Needless to say, this ad spawned a hatred in me, a hatred of ads that we should not take lying down. Ads that should be sent back with three little red crosses and a note saying 'see me'